taxonomist

it raised me like a mother would

just got a bullet of a thought that is the possibility of one day losing all my memories and having nothing to go off of because i didn’t write anything down, lowkey still going to sleep well tonight though

i do like it, please believe me!

it’s the game that kickstarted my journey into anime/manga/vns that contains characters with terminal illnesses. i never got to know the people in my life who had one, so my time in the genre (about 2 months or so) was solely dependent on this story. it’s about patients who were put in an exclusive hospice on the 7th floor of a hospital that is primarily maintained by catholics. with that setting, no story would be exist without some kind of escapist plot. the main character of the first story meets setsumi, a girl who has been in and out twice, and supposedly no one has ever returned for three times. after learning a few things about the hospital and the accursed seventh floor, the pair escape. i’ve mentioned before that this story kickstarted my short period of consuming nothing but works with “terminal illness” as the plot. but admittedly, nothing has ever come close to the story of narcissu. in anime, it’s expected to have a “lovable heroine”. and in these stories it’s typically the dying heroine who somehow inspires the healthy yet depressed protagonist to live on despite the struggles, with her death posed as the ending’s tearjerker. the thing is, these girls are all roughly the same all across the board. they were all cheerful, and seemingly healthy until the inevitable plot twist, “i only have 3 months left” just as feelings were about to bloom. even in the face of tragedy, they keep putting on a smile; this makes the protagonist, who is struggling with some kind of internal turmoil, question himself: “why do i get to live instead of her?”. they were also all beautiful, like a flower swaying in the wind, or like moonlight. in other words, they were some kind of product that seemed too good to be thrown out this early. perhaps narcissu’s divergence from the genre stems from the fact that it is free to play. the heroine of narcissu, setsumi, is roughly in her 20s. yet she still fits in her school uniform. in a sense of bitter irony, it’s almost like she’s managed to obtain eternal youth because of her illness. she doesn’t have any kind of breakthrough moment where she becomes a distinct love interest to the protagonist. they are simply… acquaintances. she doesn’t talk much, but she knows the roads of the outside world like the back of her hand. setsumi is a heroine that enters and leaves with more questions than she started with. she isn’t exactly “lovable”, not like the cheerful sunshine girl type. rather, she’s more similar to the downpour that came down as the pair were on their journey to escape. the repetition of her silence seemingly drowning out the rest of the noise in the world. neither is she “too good to die”. from the first meeting, you could tell that she is insistent on dying. narcissus is the name of the white flower that grows in the ingame hospital’s garden. it’s named after the myth of narcissus, who died while looking at his own reflection. in the white room of the seventh floor, where the window barely opens to 15 centimeters, you can only live with your own reflection. the residents of the seventh floor have two choices, to attempt escape or die there. being admitted into the hospital for her illness some time around middle school, watching each day as the number of visiting classmates dwindled, then eventually being moved to the seventh floor; setsumi had never been able to grasp her own fate, almost as if the curse that was put on narcissus had been shoved onto her. thus, she chose to escape. there was something hasty about her motion, but it was calculated, perhaps even eager. the narcissus, who escaped from her own reflection in order to make a self-centered, selfish decision to die somewhere else. a remarkable game.

hey girl are you pee bc urine my heart 💛

it looks like its bleeding from the chest… like a wound inflicted by some kind of…punishment… almost like it’s a…punishing…bird….

never understood why boys get to run around with their fake guns and swords then get movies about heroes and vigilantes while dolls have so many horror franchises based around them, is there something threatening about toys made in the image of girls and women? kind of a chore to take care of the ones with realistic hair sometimes though.

kind of awful when normal people find out that you sorta have nothing going on but that’s ultimately a problem with them and not me

i don’t really like this song because there’s this person that it reminds me of. many such cases i just didn’t think i’d be one of them.

it’s different when there’s an anime girl png on the line.

i have a massive crush on this building and it’s very difficult because we’re long distance.

im clothed when i go to bed but i feel strangely naked without one, some kinds are a bit of a hassle to wash though

he’s just alright.

i will die for my great lady jane austen

GET A JOB!!!!!!!

lowkey the og, gone too soon

spectacular in concept but unfortunate how much and how easily it’s tainted by the hands of prejudice

valentine’s day, 2046

i think girlhood is a kind of twisted tragedy but sometimes things are ok in the brief moments when we stick together

im extra lactose intolerant in the morning so this is kind of like a bullet that loops back for another hit

eats all my food???

i quite like them. airplanes are prayers of wires and metal against mankind’s flightless fate

i really liked this one because it’s written so that you keep turning and turning and reading about how the years go by and after 200 pages or so you felt like you’ve just watched someone else’s life go by, and then you close the book and you realize that you’ve practically just watched a life in 200 or so pages and it really makes one wonder how many pages does a life really deserve

as lithe and ferocious as a tiger

would’ve made for an insane bildungsroman but unfortunately hamlet is a grown 30 something man, just big and embarrassing.

im not bisexual but i really hate it when people say that it’s “half and half” or “best of both worlds” because bi or two doesn’t necessarily mean to be split into even halves. this is frankly an issue with the global state of education rather than bisexual people, i believe a math book that i was using mentioned this once (either it was serge lang or someone else) but most people are taught the fraction (1/2) as “divided by two” which then lead them to believe that when something is divided by two then it has to be into two equal wholes (something i believe was propagated by children of single child households and other genres of the utterly deranged).

sometimes i procrastinate it and the next morning everything would hurt really bad and i wish the other things in my life could be like this as well so i can’t keep putting them off

literally has the sickest aesthetic of all time but all the larpers just wear lame tshirts and hate on gay people and minorities what’s up with that

they’re real. they’re all real. all the creatures that you’ve dreamed of, everything that you’ve wanted to be. the things that you thought could only exist in between the eroding concrete sidewalks or beneath your bedframe. they change faster than us because they don’t have that fear, so the only thing we can do is keep giving them newer and newer names. but they change so quickly that it’s almost impossible to keep up. that’s why the people in charge rack up the price for every name. it’s ten years to train up a specialist; after those ten, a car, life insurance, a house, a family to feed, retirement savings, the number goes up and up, all to discourage people from giving out names; to get them to settle. that’s why there are only so many people in the field, and they’re dwindling. one day, the members of the unnamed will outnumber all humans that will ever live

not too fond of frank lloyd wright but thats all they have over here

its getting dark outside at 5 pm but at night it gets so hot i have to sleep shirtless and its bad for me to sleep shirtless because my original sin makes me molt and shed all over my bedsheets. terrible stuff.

boston massachusetts