Everything bagel

I find the “everything” bagel to be an excessive indulgence for the indecisive and unopinionated. If we break down every “thing” of the “everything” bagel and evaluate the components themselves, we find a slew of options for individually flavored bagels each with their own unique draws that are lost on the tornado of flavors found in a rendered everything bagel. Sesame seeds, poppy seeds, onion, garlic, salt. Do you think one with a refined palate bites into a titillating salt bagel or a fragrant aromatic onion bagel wishes he had the flavors he’s perceiving masked by every other possible flavor? An everything bagel is equivalent to the color brown. When you mix together every great thing there is no greatness left. An everything bagel is NOT greater than the sum of its parts, it is significantly less.

fuckkkkkkk yessssss

friend of nothingburger

Performative

its everything to me