willem

I can't believe I had to learn Frenchy French in school when I could have been learning Sami Landri French. T'es woke toi

Hey man wanna go to the cutty smoke shop around the corner and spend $10 on an herb that upon being smoked will brutally shove your soul into a meat grinder and jettison it into hell? We can get sandwiches after if you want

Once saw a guy squat over the edge of a dock and take a shit straight into the water. Giant dam spillway that looks like a gaping hole – existentially terrifying. Zodiac Killer got a few people here. I guess it's fine if your rich friend's dad has a yacht and you want to get your neck snapped while inner-tubing

Good for if you want to feel like you are in a computer

Only way I'm gonna get this damn novel written that's for sure

Nothing a little CSS layout and some middle school emotional warfare can't fix

They did the transgender version of this to me and now I don't look like Steve-O with a DD rack anymore. Thank god

I know not everyone who goes to Burning Man is "like that" but as someone from SF the joke that "the best time to be in San Francisco is during Burning Man because all the burners are gone" does hold true

My pathological need for this ruined my life but at least I know how to have fun

Kind of funny until people start stalking you and Googling your parents and stuff

Anxiously waiting my turn to hear "IT'S D! D! R!" before tanking it again at Butterfly on Difficult mode in front of everyone at the rasty local mall arcade

God still won't give me a refund for mine despite its consistently dire condition

Great beer replacement if you are in the UK and crave a pint. If it says "scrumpy" on it though strap in for a potential blackout

At a Halloween party I recently attended we all went around deciding who was Bouba and who was Kiki. I'm Bouba because I am a sweetheart and kind of a weenie

Big fan. Lived in one such building in 2013 or so. Four stars because a beautiful woman I once attempted to woo told me it was "Star Wars looking bullshit" and I can't really unsee it

If they don't do this to me after I die I'm crawling my way back out of hell and having a word

Four stars because I've got about ten years left in me considering my personal level of consumption. Terrific social lubricant and good flirtational device if you know what you're doing. When taken alone a cig is nothing short of a balm to the soul. I could wax poetic for hours but I'll wrap it up here

Five thousand stars! Most fun I've ever had in my life! May my personal heaven be throwing it back to prime dancehall five Red Stripes deep surrounded by fellow revelers on a beautiful London day for all eternity!

Reading one: wow! Cool! Writing one: uh oh! I'm about to pull all my teeth out!

Where my fellow Pibbheads at

Swagless activity

Why I'm like this, for better or for worse

At summer camp my friend was like "did you know Boca Burgers bounce if you drop them" so at lunch I slammed one on the floor and it didn't bounce and I got in trouble so there's that

Pros: train go fast! Cons: not always

Fantastic for if you want to misplace something before you even own it. Also someone needs to study the physics of why they go flying 500 feet every time you accidentally drop them.

Only shows up when I'm having a manic episode for some reason??

Fun if you want to be an annoying pseud and ask people if they think your fake legs are ontologically "real". May get sweaty at times. If you're missing both legs your doctor can and will make you taller if you ask nicely. Oddly difficult to dance to certain forms of music such as dubstep and jungle – prepare accordingly.