Discord

Review bywiff· 2026-11-04

★★

Discord. It's the modern wonder of global communication. Or so I've heard. I have a discord account, and something I've noticed a lot is that I often have the same social troubles I do in Discord servers than I do in real life. One time I was told by a few friends that a wonderful cookout was to take place down the block, and that they were going. But not me. I wasn't invited. I was not invited because no one specifically told me to come, even though it was like an open house thing, I was not specifically invited. And so I instead laid in bed and lamented all the delicious barbeque I could've eaten. I decided to eat plain crackers instead for dinner. I do like crackers, but I think that day would've been made better had I was cordially and officially invited to attend the cookout. I am currently a member of 25 discord servers. Some of these are private groupchats that I have been informed by my lawyer not to talk about. But I am a member of a few interesting public discords: "PvZ: Fusion Fans Discord", "Under Night In-Birth Player Hub", "Deadlock", "Blitz Jam", "Blazblue Centralfiction", and a few others that I will not mention for the sake of brevity. "Smogon". Please make sure to ping me in these servers to confirm that I am in fact a member of these communities. Discord's name stems from the fact that modern communication is often chaotic and messy at times. I watched a Chechoslovak film by the name of Možnosti dialogu which helps explain how Discord works. Spoilers for Možnosti dialogu. You see, talking in Discord server is a bit like eating one another. Or it's kind of like having a little guy pester you and make you hate your wife. Or it's kind of like using a pencil sharpener on a tube of toothpaste. There are many different possibilities for how any interaction is going to go. Sometimes you can engage in a wonderful conversation that will carry you throughout the night. Other times, there is one person who is talking that makes you never want to talk to anyone who associates with them ever. I remember many years ago I joined a Discord server and tried to make friends. I saw two people in one of the server's voice channels, so I decided to join and strike up some conversation. Bad idea. These were two lovebirds who I had just disturbed from a very intimate moment. Being 13 years old at the time too, I felt as if I had walked in on my parents having sex. Strangely enough, I stayed, since they immediately stopped what they were doing. But I left a few minutes later. One of my friends is very active on Discord. I share a few mutual servers with him. One thing I notice is that he tends to send the same message in every server, and then also post this message as a tweet on his Twitter account. I wonder why one would do this, but then I realize one of the major pitfalls of Discord. Everyone is separated from one another. Each server is like a lunch table that you sit at, and sometimes the cool kids won't let you sit at their lunch table. But other times, there is a lunch table that is so packed with people that it makes you not want to sit there. What if I get squished. I remember when I was in 4th grade I had a diary. One thing I would write in this diary were strategies to sitting at the lunch table. You see, I often was one of the last people to sit at the lunch table, and thus would be at the very end. Being at the end of a lunch table is a uniquely lonely experience. You never hear any good conversation. You never feel the warm embrace of another person. It's just the dead air to the left or your right. Anyways, I wrote a bunch of strategies and ideal win conditions for being able to sit at the center of the lunch table. They looked a lot like football routes, where I would have an arrow for each person in my friend group moving to a certain position at the lunch table. It never panned out though. A few years later, they went from being friends to just being acquaintances. My Discord account was made in 2023. I used to have another Discord account which was made in 2017. I think. Back in 2022 I was sick and tired of all the junk emails I was receiving from fake newsletters and the like. They are very annoying, especially as someone who had no responsibilities and thus no incentive to check their email regularly. I was so sick of the spam mail that I decided to delete my email account. However, this meant that I could no longer access any of my accounts associated with that email. Because of this, I had to forge a new identity. This is how Wiff was born. Discord has been in a lot of hot water lately. I've been told by my lawyers not to comment on this though. All I will say is that I really dislike their company mascot, the Wumpus. It is a very ugly creature. When I join a discord server or add a new friend on the site, I often am given a prompt to use an animated Wumpus image to signal that I am in fact in the building. I never do so. Terrible website.