wiffI've famously (or infamously) hated chocolate for all of my life. I don't think there is much of an explanation for why I do. My going theory is that I may have eaten poop as a toddler and disliked it, which has made me adverse to eating certain foods, chocolate being one of them. I have constantly been pressured to eat chocolate as well. If I were to sum all the money I've been offered to eat chocolate over the years, I would estimate it to be about $7037 (accounting for inflation), but I have remained resolute for the most part. I just don't really like chocolate though, it's bitter and I often find a lot of discomfort in the textures of many common chocolate products. I have a special animus for chocolate chips because of a specific story that happened when I was about 8 years old. The previous night, my brother and cousins decided to watch a horror movie, and while I said no thanks and went to sleep, I heard the whole movie down the hall, which gave me a lot of anxiety and prevented me from actually falling asleep. It was a very dreadful experience, and I barely caught any Z's as a result. I groggily woke up late- about 11:00AM (which is usually when I normally wake up when I don't have class or work LOL) and went downstairs to whip up some breakfast. I procured a box of cereal from the cabinet- branded shredded wheat squares with frosting on them- and poured myself a bowl. Dry. I then turn and go to the bathroom real quick. I had just woken up after all. When I return to my bowl of cereal I take a few bites and notice that things seem off. There is a bitter taste to my frosted squares that I don't like. I take another bite. Off. Something is not right, so I take a look down at my bowl. For about a split second, it's almost like I see vermin in my cereal. Like spiders and cockroaches. This is genuinely how I remember this I am not messing with you here. I quickly shivered and let out a panicked yelp as I stand up and check the cereal box. Nothing. I hesitantly take another look at my bowl and see nothing. The chocolate chips have disguised themselves in the thick wheat foliage. They're mixed too damn well for me to see. I try to ignore it and I take my like, eighth or ninth bite? I was a bit unaware for the first few. I suddenly hear chuckles, as if a prank is being played on me. I turn around and see one of my cousins who is asking me, "Is something different about your cereal?" and truth be told, I don't really know if I noticed anything different. I also don't remember what I said. I throw out the bowl though. A few hours later, I would be on the beach, trying to do the thing where you surf a wave but with your whole body instead. There was a wave that was really large and I tried to ride it, but it was very violent. I was thrashed underwater, and I conveniently scraped my nose on a sea shell as I was being tossed by the current. I then got an Ugly Dolls plush soon after. This was one of the worst days of my life. I never knew what was in that bowl of cereal until years later. I am having dinner with my cousins when one of them recollects the time that they pranked me. I asked how. They then detailed how they had snuck chocolate chips into my cereal bowl while I was in the bathroom as an attempt to get me to like chocolate. The catalyst to one of the most miserable experiences I've ever had in my life boiled down to chocolate chips, which I initially thought were bugs. While I still appreciate my brother and cousins a lot, this betrayal is something I will never forget and always hold against my family. They say that chocolate is like the gold of food, but the people who enjoy chocolate have anything but a heart of gold. One star.
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