lonesomedoll

the worst consequence of an unhappy life is the awareness of being abandoned

the pitfalls of my heart are too numerous and too great to mask, once and for all, the feigned sorrow of my self-sabotaging, which robs me of the chance to feel that warm flame that once dwelled within my body, in a time that is no longer real...i succumb to the constant deterioration of my soul

i don’t know what the maximum capacity of memory is. To what extent, in what way, and for how long can one remember, regardless of who or what it is. i don’t have a good short-term memory, it usually takes me time to realize that a specific situation, a moment, is seared into my mind and it’s part of my archive and of who I am. I remember everything with no small amount of pain.

someone once said that human beings are the only animals that don't accept themselves as they are but i hope you do

I often feel a strong, urgent need to write something important. revolutionary words for the world. weary activists who finally return home and find peace. I load these simple words with such great weight that sometimes it feels as if they might explode...as if, without all the value I’ve bestowed upon them, they were nothing more than mere symbols. I perform the same meticulous work on human beings and on myself. Everyone’s value is predetermined, unchangeable. I exist only because my words bring me into being. It doesn't matter how much blood I lose, or how many tears flow from my eyes. Nothing has value apart from what my pen can produce.

remember you are dust

everyone holds within themselves a spectrum for every version they have lived. There are multiple bodies and multiple minds within the same person, and this leads to a stratification of the self. One cannot, and never will, be singular, but always divided or multiplied, since each one, turning inward and shedding its skin like a snake, ends up creating a matryoshka effect. This implies not only that each person will embody all the phases of their life but also all the abstract entities of their own body

point of existentialism is not "life is suffering and weird and miserable", fear is not connected to it imo. it begins as a skeptical answer to religion and theology, without a proper context and, mostly, without being a fervent catholic, i believe it can be pretty insidious to actually think about existentialism in a right way... point is anything you are is up to you, there is nothing outiside of your being, just you. and who you are, who you chose to be, with all the complexity and all the contradictions that comes with it, is nothing more than the outcome of your choiches and actions. i feel like this is more a way of being conscious about our existence as a product of personal experience. a being aware of being nothing can be whatever it chooses to be...i dont even know if this makes sense, whatever

life is, in fact, meaningless & what you find in things is uniquely up to you and your perespective

moss growing on the surface of life...

omnia aliena sunt tempus tantum nostrum est

love when it comes from the experience of something beautiful like music or a movie

have his records always on. miss him a lot

heart warming to walk in whatever city during or immediately before christmas...all of the lights and the cold on the skin and the way everything shines with faith and hope..yup i love it

i am terrified

i would love to collect more of these

they cant hear u

pleasure in the name itself sexual intercourse i love it...

i am water

i find it really funny that this is my name & i try my best to escape men as well... i feel you truly my beloved namesake

i just love to wander in monumental cemeteries and read the inscriptions... there is something so comforting and intimate about it..makes me feel connected to whoever is resting underneath there

beautiful but scary sometimes

my credibility is compromised by my fear of being a liar to myself

i associate the sacrifical lamb to laura palmer for some reason

whenever i cant sleep and im having an episode i tend to think stuff like please protect my loved ones & usually i think im speaking to some kind of greater authority - even if i dont truly believe in it - but immediately realize im probably speaking to the devil and start this full circle of pure paranoia when i could be simply be sleeping... what a life.

i often feel like this as well...

i dont like dessert but i crave it rn

this makes me think of purity and innocence

this and some chocolate chips mhm

one day i read on a grave: weeping may endure for a night but joy came in the morning

i like buises even if at times they make me feel vulnerable

i want to wash way the feeling of always being guilty, i miss feeling innocent

i hate wishing and i hate the desire of something that's almost impossibile. i also hate: birthday wishes, shooting stars wishes, people who constantly wish

lovely activity to share with your friends at parties

super sweet to pet your cat and instantly get the prrrrr back. relaxing

tasty!!!!

favourite scent favourite flavor favourite smell favourite esscence i love vanilla i am made of vanilla

my muse forever...i feel so sad knowing i will never be able to talk to her nor interview her or anything related...

i want to die and resurrect in babylon and i want to see this with my own eyes

only way to prove you're alive

double it and give it to my worst enemy...why the hell you shold romanticize it go to sleep for the love of god...

yes for the knowledge no for the violation of the space

it's so lovely to be at peace

objective? subjective? in the eye of the beholder? universal? arrrrg

beauty is pain always

danger !!!!

i believe that using voyeurism only connected to the sexual interest is wrong. we are all voyeurs & the world proves this statement everyday...anytime anything happens, tragedies mainly, we want to see with our own eyes. we need to watch and stare to capture a glimpse of what happened and be touched by it. probably words of horror are not enough in some circumstances. we are all voyeurs...probably Lynch said something like that also ?

i often have deja vu when i am in a liminal space...

consume me when you want some sweetness yumm

i only like my bed beacuse in late autumn and winter my cat climbs it to sleep with me, near my legs. i love that feeling and i wait for autumn to come just for this to happen again. i wanna feel this forever

i want this to be my bed and rest a bit

humans never understand how lucky they are to be surrounded by all this...still they hunt, kill for pleasure, harm, put in cages. i really hope animals will be free from the human menace one day

i miss listening to this irl, i used to go at the opera with my grandparents and i loved to doll me up for the occasion

best invention EVER i love losing my mind to the hard ones all my homies loooove sudoku

never understood why this should be a sin

for some reason i tend to be more vulnerable when im in spaces full of people...i struggle a lot to show my emotions, specially if iam with somebody close to me or by myself, i feel the need to close and endure my sorrow quietly...but whenever i feel the need to let it go i have to be in a public space. can be on a train on a plane on the bus at the supermarket anywhere where my tears mean nothing to nobody and they're nothing more than what they are... water of a stranger

i cry a lot to this

cake and laces and guillotine

i often cry when im able to observe this! it's my favourite phenomenon ever. when the light just quietly passes between clouds and you suddenly can feel close to the earth, to the nature around you, to your soul...

when light hits them and suddenly everything is stained in a wave of beautiful colors...once i went to sagrada familia in barcelona and i was lucky enough to catch the perfect moment, around 5pm in summer, i remember staying still in that bright, colorful, ray of light while someone was playing the organ, such a beautiful and heartwarming memory

female octopus can create a specific type of seashell with her tentacles used to protect her eggs

i used to have a little spider without three legs he made such beautiful webs this fascinates me so much

i've been crucified like God but i can still hold hands

multitudes inside my soul caused by the overcrowded crossing lines of my heart walked by the ones i've met...im always alone yet i can feel somebody inside me. i love my solitude

years ago i thought i was ready.. but i was so wrong i love feeling the life in my body , i love petting my kitten and breath fresh air in the morning. now i am scared of at times..what if it comes when i still have a lot to give to the world and viceversa..

one must imagine to be happy or whatever camus said

i love skepticism tbh...probably i feel it way deeper on religion. sometimes ive had my religious psychosis but still not enough to make me truly feel the power of what should come along with belief...probably i was born too skeptical. it's impossible for me to fully understand the way one can be completly drowned in devotion for an entity that cannot even show up. i think a lot about religion and about what comes with it. soemtimes i feel stupid beause i cannot understand it. i would love to try tho

guys i bit the apple will they send me away now?

confess my sin to me my beloved

is truth something universal? what i believe is real is truth as a consequence or is just my personal truth? what's its value?

iam nothing without empathy...im nothing without other humans

i swim in faith whenever i am surrounded by glittery sea

i dont really believe in god but i find religion fascinating in its symbolism

there is something extremely peaceful about sunlight...I love when it's cold outside and you catch that single ray of sun, it hits your hand... suddently you can feel a sweet warmness taking over your body... it's so similar to the feeling of being in love..or being alive

i wonder if robots sleep and dream