etons

yeah i know some people would consider this a gift— but you can only place yourself in other people’s shoes so often before you start to forget what shoe size you even wear. helpful tip: even empathy needs limits, do not let your understanding make excuses for others.

he’s like jesus to me, in a way. i love you superman. helpful tip: watch superman 2025.

every time i hear his name leave another’s lips, another tiny crack forms on the porcelain cage that houses an authentication code to bomb the west. helpful tip: that first part was a joke. another helpful tip: this second part is not; i fucking hate him.

while i do appreciate that it helps with muscle pain, the polarizing smell and many possible (very negative) physical side effects makes this. just sort of okay, i guess. helpful tip: stay away from heating pads if you’ve applied any.

man this shit sucks. helpful tip: scoliosis means this is inevitable.